What angels can't fix
by Bongoblue
Summary: This is an alternative timeline starting at 'born again identity' (episode 17, season 7). I always found it alittle over-convenient that Cas just arrives and 'fixes' Sam. So this follows the idea that angel magic didn't work so Dean has to try and help Sam himself. Can human techniques to mental health work? Or is it too much for Sam? **just be aware there is mental health theme**
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Dean sat on the uncomfortable, plastic hospital chair watching the angel try, and fail, to work his magic on his brother. He told himself this had to work. Sam hadn't slept in days. Now the doctor told Dean he had stopped eating. His condition kept worsening; he was going to fade away before his eyes if Cas couldn't help.

His worst fear came true as the angel rocked back from his brother. "I'm sorry" left Cas's mouth but Dean didn't truly hear it. He had already seen what was happening, already realised the truth. This had just confirmed it to him. Sam was done for; there was nothing else. No more hope to be had. "what does that mean? You're sorry? You're sorry? You did this now fix it." Dean growled at Cas. His eye locked to the angel's eyes. Cas just shrugged and sighed as Dean pinned him against the wall "I said fix it! So just fix him now!"

"Dean I can't" yelled back Cas "I can't, I tried, but he was too damaged by hell then what I did. I'm sorry. I really am, but that's the truth."

Sam was laid back on the bed, looking worryingly although he had already accepted his fate. Dean had been too pissed to really take much notice as of yet. But now Dean's focus was firmly on his brother; who was looking to the opposite side of him and Cas. To was Lucifer stood, only visible to Sam. "looks like you're stuck with me, Sammy." smiled Lucifer.

"Sam! Sammy! Earth to Sam!" Dean's voice broke through the barrier Sam mind had formed. Sam's eyes flicked to Dean and back to the empty spot where Lucifer stood. "look I know you can hear me, Sam, there be something, something we haven't tried yet. Sam, please, don't give up yet" Dean begged Sam.

Sam shuck his head "Dean I already told you there no point, there nothing left to save." he laid back onto the bed and watched the ceiled tiles.

"sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. there may be other ways." Cas told Sam " Less super and more natural ways. Humans have many techniques for dealing with psychological illness, and I will try anything, everything if I thought it would help you. Angels are good, great even at healing the physical, but we are lacking in our knowledge of illnesses of the mind. Human techniques may be the answer here".

Dean spun around to face the angel, "you" Dean snarled to Cas, Dean had moved threateningly close to Cas "you did this! Get out. Just get out already".

Cas nodded "very well; I will be back through" and with that, he vanished.

Dean dropped back into the plastic chair opposite his brother. Sam somehow looked older than he did a few days ago, not as in old and wise but old, frail and vulnerable. Even his skin was changing, looking paler and thinner. Sam's eyes had sunk into his face, and the bags under his eyes were more like suitcases. Still, he had not slept and now not eating, Dean was terrified of watching Sam fade away.

"Sammy, you'll be okay, there still stuff to do. You will be okay" Dean said mostly to reassure himself. Sam's eye flicked to Dean then back to the empty space on the other side.

Two hours later, Dean was back in the motel drinking a beer on his bed, staring at the spare bed, which should be Sammy. He had a _couple _more beers before crashing out on the bed. He was absolutely exhausted and fell to the emotionless void of sleep in no time at all.

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Thankyou all for reading, any comments or reviews are welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used within this story


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Sam didn't sleep that night, but that was nothing new at this point. He spent the night trying and failing to ignore Lucifer. He wished Dean would give up, just leave him to go save the world. They knew what was happening right now. The world needed saving, Bobby was gone, and he was in no fit state for fighting, so as much as he hated it, Dean was the last hope.

But of course, the foul was refusing to leave him. He'd even managed to find Cas, for all the good that did if an angel couldn't save him, then what other hope was there.

Meanwhile, Dean woke in a less than hygienic bed in a motel with a sticky floor. Nasty, he thought to himself was his feet hit the floor.

He considered what Cas had said; humans are good for something; then, he chuckled to himself. He switched on his laptop to begin searching for anything to help Sam. He guessed Sam had PTDS, hell he probably did too. And schizophrenia. Now insomnia.

His head was spinning with it all as he read blog after blog. Some seemed obvious. Some seem stupid, he had an feeling kale, or essential oils weren't going to fix Sam. But some of this stuff didn't seem to be such a bad idea. Like anything was worth a try at this point. He just needed his brother back.

There was some compelling information on carbs and proteins helping sleep, and warm milk. He could work with that. He scribbled ideas to his list.

He followed a link to meditation for insomnia. It seemed like the sort of crap Sammy was into he thought, and it was worth a shot. He bookmarked it for later and picked up his shopping list and set off to the shop.

Within the hour, Dean arrived in Sam hospital room with a carrier bag in hand. "Hey," said Dean allowing the door to slam behind him. Sam's eyes flicked to Dean than to the door then back to where he saw Lucifer stood, smiling at him.

"Hey Dean, come to join my bunk buddy here and me? Say hello Sammy, come on don't be rude" Lucifer said, but of course, only Sam heard him.

"Not real" Sam whispered to himself, digging his head into the pillow, face twisted in psychological pain.

"Sammy, it's mean I'm here. I'm real Sam!" Dean said as he dropped to the side of his brother's bed, pained to Sam like this. He grabbed Sam hand "damm it Sam, look at me, I'm real". Sam's eyes took a minute to focus on Dean, "yeah, of course, you are" Sam answered, sitting up on the bed "sorry man, I'm tired".

"Yeah, tired that's what I've been thinking about, remember what Cas said? Natural, not supernatural? Well, yeah turns out humans have a lot of research in this mental stuff. Ive got a meditation for sleep, and some special tea and apparently carbs are good for sleep and protein too, especially milk, so I've been shopping."

Dean was speech was rushed like he couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"Dean stop, I am thankful for you doing all this. But you heard Cas. There nothing. What do you think tea can do, what angels can't?" Sam snapped, rolling back onto the bed.

Dean sighed, "well, I'll be here for a while so we can try. Come on, Sam, just humour me or prove me wrong, whatever just try it". Sitting back on the plastic chair from last night, he waited on the breakfast to come round. He watched Sam closely, but Sam didn't do much. He was clearly too tired and crazy for chit-chat.

The hospital breakfast was rubbish when it was delivered, Dean thought. Cold toast, soggy cereal and beans in a solid lump, how was anyone going to recover on this stuff anyway? He couldn't blame Sam for not eating it, but he needed to eat, he needed carbs and protein to get sleep.

Sam's eyes had lit up at the first mention of food, but it faded when he saw it. He looked discussed by it. Like it was evil, not just bad.

Right, thought Dean, bacon sandwiches. They had carbs and protein. Plus he was a bit hungry himself. "Back in a minute, Sammy," said Dean as he walked out to the cafe he'd seen outside.

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Thank you for reading!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters within this story.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dean returned with a smile and a new bag. Sam again glanced at the slamming of the door and his brother entrance into the small room. "Got us bacon, Sammy," he said, passing a sandwich to Sam. He pulled the chair to the bed. Sam face twisted with discuss at the sand which. "Dean, leave it. I'm fine".

Dean laughed "This isn't fine, and you need to eat whether you like it or not." Sam continued to stare at the sandwich. Dean twisted the chair and strangled it with his legs were either side of the backrest. "Why aren't you eating anyway?" He asked.

"It all has bugs and maggots in. Well I mean it doesn't really. It's not really, but I don't think I can eat it when it looks like that. Even if it is in my head" answered Sam.

Dean thought for a few minutes, unsure what he could say to that. It did seem pretty horrible to argue Sam should eat bugs, even imaginary bugs; finally, the words came to him. He told Sam the bacon was safe. He'd never let anything happen to him he promised. They agreed Sam would just try it anyway.

Dean bit it first, passing it to Sam. The idea was by sharing a sandwich; Sam would know it was 'clean'. "It's beautiful," Dean said while chewing. "Dean your gross," said Sam, "gross, yeah, but real" Dean answered with a sly smile.

Sam continued to stare, unsure if he could eat the sandwich crawling with bugs. Dean watched and took another bite before passing it back.

"Tasty," said Dean, grinning at Sam. Dean took a few more before Sam manages to bring himself to take a bite.

He chewed it slowly, the devil literally on his shoulder, making gagging and choking noises. Trying to put Sam off, but somehow it didn't work, and Sam swallowed.

Dean smiled "nice right? Have another bite" this time Sam struggled less to chew and swallow the greasy bacon on thick white bread. He focused on the fat dripping off the bacon on to the bread, the flavours in his mouth. He almost enjoyed it.

"Thanks," said Sam, taking a moment before his next bite. "No problem," said Dean, feeling smug that he managed this little win with Sam.

The third bite went wrong, as Sam bite, he saw the sandwich start moving, crawling, and then he felt it. It was alive! He tried to tell himself it wasn't, but reality didn't matter at this point. Sam freaked out, gagging and choking on the food. His arms thrashed and he tried to talk but he couldn't. Suddenly, he was conceived he was being choked by Lucifer hands on his neck. He scratched at his neck, crawling at his throat to clear it.

But of course, there was nothing there. Dean watched his brother scratching to the point of drawing blood. All his pride and confidence had left him; it horrible for him to watch. Dean grabbed the small bin and tried to tell Sam to spilt out the bacon, but it was pointless. He grabbed his brother and pulled Sam to his side. "Split" demanded Dean as he hit Sam back. Dean continued throbbing Sam's back until Sam began to cough it up. And then Sam took the bin for himself and started being sick.

Once Sam had settled again, Dean placed the bucket back on the floor. "So, I guess bacon out," Dean said, slight hint of a smile to his face. Sam laughed through his pants. Sam was clearly exhausted by the ordeal. Dean went out to get the bin cleaned and explain what had happened to a nurse; he felt guilty like he had caused it. The nurse disagreed, arguing Sam taking two bites before freaking was a step in the right direction. It was a baby step, but with Sam condition, it was nothing to be ignored or overlooked.

Dean returned to the room a few minutes later. Sam suggested trying the meditation. And so Dean loaded it up on his laptop. He set it on the small table next to the bed. And he sat on the floor, crossed legged, elbows on resting against his knees and hands in the 'okay position; he sat like a monk. "What?" Laughed Sam looking over. "It's meditation! It's how you sit Sammy!" Dean replied. Sam howled with laughter, which made Dean smile. Lucifer seemed pretty annoyed by the idea "you think sitting and humming gonna save you from me, Sammy?"

Sam just rolled his eyes and pressed play on the video. Dean was still on the floor but had left the monk-like position with his legs flat and his back against the wall. Sam had laid back against the bed.

Sam focused on the voice leading through the meditation despite lucifer doing his best to distract him.

By the end, Sam wasn't asleep, not practically close even. But he was more settled and relaxed than he'd been in days. Dean made him a _special _tea to drink after and left whale songs on.

Maybe Cas was right maybe the human techniques could work.

After all, this was only the start; maybe it just needed time. Maybe Sam could do this.

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DISCLAIMER = I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used within this writing. As always thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The whale songs didnt help Sam mental state and nor did the tea. But Sam was pleased to have swallowed two bites of bacon sandwich before freaking out. That was a start, at least. And he had to admit the meditation was helpful. He refused lunch just after 12 and Dean didn't push him. He promised Dean he'd eat some tea and just needed some time to recover from breakfast.

Dean was eyeing his brother carefully; he couldn't help but feel guilty that Sam needed to recover from breakfast. If he hadn't pushed it, then Sam wouldn't have the stretches covering his neck. The only thing that had worked was the meditation as the tea and whale music were useless.

Sam doctor came to talk to the boys In the early afternoon. He introduced himself as George. He ran through the brief notes of the last few days and asked about the morning. Sam explained the morning more positively than Dean could have done.

The doctor nodded and touch notes, before beginning "well I'm pleased you ate something anyway, I'm assuming your still seeing Lucifer?" Sam nodded "and I understand you are yet to sleep?" The doctor asked again. When Sam didn't answer as he was too focused on Lucifer, Dean took over. "Yeah, he's still not sleeping, but we did a meditation together earlier, and it almost worked".

Doctor George smiled, "interesting, how did you find it, Sam?" he asked. Sam shrugged, but at least he was listening again. "Well" continued Doctor George "many people do find them helpful. I'll try to find some more to help you. I was going to say we were going to change the focus of your medicine to anti-psychotics, see if that points you in a better position to sleep. But if you want to continue the meditation for a few more days, your welcome to try?"

Sam thought for a long time, "I would really like to sleep" he answered. "Right, well, we can try and combine the meditation and medication together to see if that successful. I'd like to begin talking therapy as soon as possible, is that okay Sam?" George said. Sam nodded as a response.

"Any questions?" Asked George, clearly preparing to go.

Dean looked up "actually, I do have some questions," he told the doctor "like how long does it take to fix a head case like a Sammy?"

Sam looked up at his brother and then to the doctors confused and shocked face. He couldn't help but like out a small laugh under his breath. Deans eyes lit up at the glance of the old Sam.

However, George did not find it funny "we tend to stay away from slang like _headcase_ here as it's unhelpful to recovery".

"Right, awesome, so what's the right word? Crazy?" Dean generally asked. Sam snicker and George sighed and said, "he has a mental illness. He is neither crazy nor mental. I can talk to you more about his condition if you like? But I'll need to finish a few jobs first. I do not believe this conversation to be beneficial to Sam."

"Thanks, yeah, that would be helpful" answered Dean, slightly embarrassed and feeling like he had been told off. George said bye to the boys and left.

"So, there going to talk about your crazy without us? That's not fair, is it Sammy" Lucifer asked Sam, "shut up" growled Sam. Dean's eyes shot onto his brother, holding his breath as he tried to work out what was happening.

Lucifer just laughed and continued "why don't you try humming me away again or the whale music? I could use a dance". Lucifer made a few dance moves and spin with a cheesy grin to his face. "You're not real, so just go away!" yelled Sam, standing up from the bed. A terrified and helpless Dean just watched his kid brother begin to freak out.

"encore Sammy?" replied Lucifer as he turned the few dance steps into an actual dance. Jumping on the bed as if it was a stage. Sam was glued in fear and pain at the foot of the bed. "stage dive" called Lucifer throwing himself towards Sam. Sam forgot that the devil was in his mind and dodged out the why. He landed himself in a heap on the floor and curling into the fetal position, shaking like a leaf.

Dean had leapt out of his chair, unsure what to do but felt obliged to do something. He could only watch as Sam throw himself out the way of an invisible missile. Sam crashed down against the floor so hard he almost bounced. Dean winced in pain for his brother and dropped next to him to try to assist his brother. Sam had hit his head badly, so it was likely he had a concussion and possible broken ribs. More worrying still was Sam mental state to move himself with such force. Dean swore under his breath and went to find a nurse.

When they returned, Sam was slamming his head into the floor, screaming about angels and demons and devils and reality and fantasy. To the average person, Sam made no sense, hell even to Dean he made minimal sense. Lucifer, well Sam's imaginary version of him, had caused this and Sammy was struggling to work out what was real. Sam mumbling told Dean there had been dancing and singing.

Numerous security men entered the room to pin down Sam, lift him onto the bed and scrap him there. It reminded Dean as the panic room when Sam was 'detoxing' from demon blood. A junior doctor, not George just who was close by, did a quick physical and mental assessment. They decided that once Sam was calmer, they needed an x-ray of his head and ribs just in case. Otherwise, add in some pain relief to the cocktail of drugs Sam was already on and wait for Doctor George to review.

With that, Dean and Sam were left in the room alone. Dean, unsure what else to try, began stroking Sam's head and hummed the tune their father used to sing to them as babies.

Sam relaxed to the comfort of his brother and familiar tune, helping him to distinguish reality from his imagination. He didn't even care what Lucifer was doing right now.

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used. I am just doing this for fun.

I appreciate any comments, follows or reviews. Most of all I hope you are enjoying reading this half as much as I am enjoying writing


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dean was lead down the corridor to Doctor George's office. He was instructed to sit and wait for George to be ready. He felt like a naughty school child outside the headteacher's door. It felt like there was a bottomless of anxiety in his stomach. He also felt wrong discussing Sam without him, like he was telling tales on his little brother, but Sam was in no situation to comment for him.

The door swung open, and George called him into the room. "Hi, Georgie boy. How ya doing today?" Said Dean attempting to keep the mood light despite his worry for his brother. George smiled in a generally empathetic and kind way, "come sit down Dean" said the doctor, pointing to the chair opposite him. Sam folder was thick on the desk. "So, we going to talk about my brother mental illness then?" Asked Dean, terrified for what was coming.

"Yes," said George "that's what we are here to do. So, I don't know much of Sam background so I could use you to fill in some gaps too. So anything you can tell me is helpful".

Dean took a painful breath in which George noticed and began explaining his opinion on Sam conditions. To his understanding, Sam had been through a painful and emotional experience around a year ago. He had been apart from his brother and in a gang of sorts. Sam has reunited with his brother and struggled for a while. He began hallucinations, and then the devil became a notable element to his illness.

Dean said he knew little of the time when they were apart, he wasn't going to explain Sam was in hell or hunting alpha monster with their grandfather, so the doctor's story was close enough. Dean gave the doctor a brief summary of their mother's death, of growing up on the run and the 'family' business but left out the ghosts, demons, monsters and hunting. All the fun parts, in Dean opinion.

George ran through Sam symptoms and condition. Sam was clearly experiencing psychosis; he was delusional and was experiencing hallucinations. He was dissociative, which is a fancy way of saying he is disconnected from reality. It was too soon to diagnose schizophrenia as that took time. Still, Sam was, with no doubt, very and exceptionally mentally ill. And physically unwell due to the lack of sleep and now food. At least he was still drinking.

Doctor George encouraged Dean to continue trying any and all new or unusual idea's. He had sorted some meditation CDs and a player out from Sam to use. George warned Dean to lock everything away when only Sam was in the room to protect him if he had an episode. He explained it was impossible to predict how long recovery would take for Sam, but they were all in it for the long run.

When Dean returned to the hospital room, Dean was relieved to see Sam was laid, quietly on his side. The straps had been removed, but there were still nurses and security hanging around his room.

Sam was too tired and in too much pain to react to Deans return into the room, he was doing relatively relaxed and managing to ignore Lucifer. "Hey Sammy," said Dean, monitoring Sam's movements and noticing his brother finch in pain as he turned to look at Dean.

Dean stood awkwardly in the doorway before sitting down on the hospital chair. "Hi, what time is it?" responded Sam, his voice sounded croaky, probably from his screaming. Dean looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was after 5, "5.15 Sammy," Dean answered with his eyebrows flying up, "I guess you will not want any dinner? I might go out for a burger later" he told Sam, realising he hadn't eaten since the bacon sandwich this morning.

Sam glanced, "ill try and eat something," said Sam.

"You sure?" Ask Dean, concerned not to push his brother too much. Sam popped the P as he said: "yep, in a bit, yeah?"

"Awesome," said Dean with a smile, suddenly realising he could have a burger and call it therapy for Sam. They sat in awkward silence apart from Dean just as awkward attempts to start a conversation.

Later, a nurse came in, wondering if Sam was ready for his X-Ray. By ready, she meant calm and at least semi-aware of reality. Dean informed her he'd go with his brother. The nurse thanked him and fletched a wheelchair.

Two large, strong man came with the boys, saying they were porters and it was just policy. But it was clear they were there in case Sam had a meltdown again. Still, Dean insisted on pushing his younger brother. He went with Sam into the X-Ray room. He helped Sam to lay on the bed before putting on his lead vest. Dean saw the fear in his brother's eyes in the new room and reassured Sam the best he could.

The X-Ray room was cold and dark, which wasn't helping Sam mental fear. Lucifer was enjoying the new backdrop to torment Sam in. The only saving grace for Sam was having his brother voice to focus on. He allowed Dean to position him around the bed but blocked out anything else.

The X-ray relieved Sam had managed to crack a rib which explained the pain when he moved. Sam has a minor concussion, but no treatment was needed.

Sam sat back on his hospital bed as his brother disappeared to go get them some tea. Sam has agreed to chips and a milkshake and knew Dean would eat the biggest, badest cheeseburger the places sold. Sam was almost looking forward to eating with his brother.

The door opened to reveal Dean carrying a big bag of junk food from the local diner. He had gone all out. He'd even brought pie!

Sam watched Dean put his chips on the tray for him and then Dean dug into his giant burger. Dean chatted as he ate, and Sam managed to join in with the conversation and ate a grand total of six chips without freaking out, which was quite the improvement from the morning.

Dean went back to the motel, ordering Sam to sleep but knowing that Sam wouldn't. He settled down with a beer and fell to sleep.

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used. I am just doing this for fun.

I appreciate any comments, follows or reviews. Most of all, I hope you are enjoying reading this half as much as I am enjoying writing.


	6. chapter 6

Chapter 6

Dean woke to his phone ringing; his blurry, tired eyes focused on the clock as he reached for his phone. The clock read 4.50, Dean rubbed his face as he read the caller ID as Garth.

Garth was a fellow hunter and was a friend of Bobby. They had worked a case together a few weeks before. He had an unusual personality, but he really did grow on you over time. Just can't catch a break, thought Dean as he answered the phone. Garth's voice was panicked through the speaker; "Dean, it's me, Garth, ya know Bobby's friend?". Dean chuckled slightly, "yes Garth, I remember, and my caller ID already told me it was you. So what can I do for you?".

"well no one heard from you, Bobby or Sam in ages. It's getting back out here, Dean. It weird, it must be the Leviathan" said Garth, talking fast like he couldn't get the information out quick enough.

Dean sighed loudly, "well Garth there's a reason you not heard from Bobby. Brace yourself for this it's bad. But Garth, well Bobby died. A couple of weeks back now; I was with him. He was shot in the head" Dean explained, his voice threatens to break, and he dropped onto the bed. He heard an inhuman groan of grief come through the phone.

"I'm so sorry, Dean. You should have said. I could have helped" Garth told him "what about Sam? Did he get shot? Was it the same person?" Garth asked. Dean sighed again "no, Sam quite different. It's err, so Sam in a mental hospital" Dean told him, then added, "I can't really explain over the phone. What kind of weird?".

Garth thought for a moment then said "Like the other day, I went into a vampire nest, ready to clear it out but they were all dead. All of them. Dead! No signs of attack or anything. The nearest I can tell, they took humans back to feed on, and they were poisoned or something. The nest was horrific, vampire and human bodies were dead, equal in indignity. And the smell. The smell was something else. Behold rotten; it was coming from the vampires, not the humans. And I didn't know vampires could even be sick, but the sick was red with blood. "

"right, what do you mean poison? There aren't any poisons for vampires" said a confused Dean, rubbing his temples, trying to put the information together. Nothing Dean knew that could create that level of horror.

"that's not all," said Garth. Dean responded "great! Because I was thinking we did not have enough happening at the moment".

Garth ignored Dean's comment and continued "people are acting weird. I mean really weird. Like everyone is high or something? It's pretty crazy, Dean. One thing for sure, I can't do this alone and you, Sam and Bobby knew the most about the Leviathan."

Suddenly, it hit Dean. Everything added up, the food would make them easy victims of the humans and poison the other monsters. Leviathan didn't want to destroy the world, they just wanted to be at the top of it. He explained about the Turducken, sandwich that had made a full town act high and his theory about the Leviathan turning the human population into a hardy snack.

An awkward silence hung over the phone until Garth said "Okie Dokie then. I'm sorry, Dean, but this is an all hands on deck situation, I can leave you out if you need?". Dean sighed again "no your fine. I do need to get to see Sammy as well. At least once a day but more if I can. Where abouts are you? We're in Noblesville. Can you make it here?" Garth was the far side of Indinappleist, probably around an hour drive. They agreed to meet in the cafe near the hospital so that Dean would be able to see Sam after they have met up.

Just over an hour later, Dean arrived at the diner to find Garth drinking a latte in a booth. Garth was reading the comic pages, laughing at the Garfield panels. "morning" Garth told Dean in a voice too cheerful for the time of the morning. Dean replied in a grunt that could be considered a greeting, sitting across from Garth. He found Garth annoying in a way he could not explain. Dean gave a brief explanation of what had happened with Sam and Cas. He then had to tell Garth Cas, Michael and lucifer battle, and Sam time in the cage. It was a lot to catch the poor guy up to.

"So," said Dean "what's safe to eat because I'm hungry plus Sam not been eating away. So I need to know the tiny bits he does eat is safe".

Garth answered "as far as we can tell, any food needs to be as hand made as possible. Fruit, vegetables, fresh meat, that sort of thing. Not junk food I'm afraid, sadly that includes pie". Deans eyes welled up "what kind of low monster would hurt pie? Man, that's messed up".

"so, having an angel on the team could be mighty useful for us," stated Garth. Dean wanted to say no, to say it wasn't worth forgiving Cas, but he knew that was selfish. "yeah. Your right man. I'll call him and see what happens. I can't make any promises, and angels do tend to do things at their own convenience" Dean responded. Garth nodded. Dean swallowed hard before praying "Cas, can you hear me. We need your help. You know, after everything I would ask unless I really needed you."

Cas was relieved to hear Dean pray as he had worried what he had done to Dean and Sam was unforgivable. However, Cas knew it something truely evil or wrong must be happening for him to pray, and that chilled him to the core. He was on guard when he landed in the cafe but smiled to see his friend. "Hello Dean" Cas greeted "and who's this? Is he Sam replacement?" Cas asked innocently; he had just figured Sam would be out, and Dean might have needed more help. Dean's blood boiled "He is not Sam replacement! Just because you gave up doesn't mean I did" he yelled.

Garth stood up, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder in the hope of calming him down, he reached his other had to the angel. "My name Garth and Dean is helping me with a vampire case. We figured you might be some help. Now everyone, calm down and sit ya butts down" said Garth, yelling the last few words. Dean raised an eyebrow and sat back onto his chair. He applied his poker face and went into business mode, Garth was right, Cas was going to be helpful.

Together they caught the angel with the weirdness of the food, people and poison vampires. Cas decided he would check out the vampire nest himself then met the boys back here. He would also find out what added to the food so that Garth, Dean and Sam could eat safely. Meanwhile, Dean needed to go see Sam and Garth wanted to come. Dean was reluctant but allowed Garth to come to visit Sam with him. Dean took Sam Sam fruit for breakfast, figuring it was the safest until they knew what was causing the crazy.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters included within this story.

Thank you for reading


	7. chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sam had spent the night awake on his bed, doing his best to but mostly failing to ignore Lucifer. It was a long, gruelling night for Sam. Every time he moved pain fired through his chest. The sedatives were starting to work, he still could not sleep, but he was feeling drunk dizziness. It was uncomfortable and made Sam unsteady on his feet, but Sam figured sleep was not far behind. Or maybe he just hoped.

Sometime that morning, Sam's door opened to revival Garth and Dean coming into the small hospital room. Sam tried to sit up, but the dizziness hit and the room began to swim again. Dean darted to his younger brother side, grabbing Sam's shoulders before he could fall back and helping him to find his balance on the edge of the bed. The colour had drained from Dean's face, and he stood above his brother, his trained eyes studying his brother for a sign of what was happening. Dean gave up his stare and introduced Garth. Sam remembered him from the time Dean had worked with him.

Sam leaned forward and welcomed Garth, "hi Garth; I'm surprised to see you here, I guess". Garth smiled warmly "I asked your brother for help, he explained about you, and about Bobby as well. I wanted to come to see you" Garth replied. Sam smiled back, "so you bring breakfast?". "yes!" grinned Dean lifting the bag of fruit and emptying it on the content onto Sam's tray.

Sam looked confused "fruit? Unlike you, Dean? I was expecting Pie or bacon again" Sam half-joked. Dean stumbled on his words, wishing he'd thought this through, but too Dean's surprise Garth was already answering. "well, of course, Dean wanted to but did you know fruit is proven to help mental health issues? Plus he said the bacon sandwich didn't go so well, so we figured we try this" Garth told Sam as he sat on the chair. Dean smiled "what he said, so what do you fancy, Sammy?"

Sam pointed to the apple which Dean cut up for him to eat. Dean thew the orange to Garth who smiled, thanked Dean and started unpeeling it. Dean sat on the bed next to his kid brother and ate a couple of the strawberries. Sam managed almost the whole apple before he began coughing. Dean hid his panic beneath his poker face as he hit his brother's back. Sam swallowed and breathed deeply as he calmed himself back down.

Having Garth in the room helped the two brothers. Garth could start a conversation in an empty room, so he had no trouble keeping his fellow hunters chatting. This helped Sam to ignore Lucifer by giving him something to focus on. It helped Dean to stay calm and stop him from constantly watching his brothers every move, which was unhelpful for both the boys.

After a while, Sam yawned. Dean suggested trying the mediation again, which delighted Garth, who proudly announced: "my yogi will be so proud!" Then Garth thought for a moment and added "would you like to try some yoga, Sam? It should help you sleep plus a lot in my class find it helps their mental health, and I don't see why it wouldn't help you. "

Dean snickered "I have a feeling Sammy's condition is a little worse than that of a scorer mum in sweats."

Garth looked hurt, "well, I find it helps me stay calm and collected on hunts." he replied. Dean shot back "yeah well you aren't to hell, so it's not the same. The kid needs to find his marbles; nevermind find his Zen".

Garth began to reply, but Sam interrupted " id like to try it ".

Dean stood up "like hell, you can barely even keep yourself sat up. You don't have the strength to do yoga, can you even stand?" Dean snapped, he was in full protective brother mode now. "its worth a try, Dean. I'll try anything right now to sleep" Sam replied, Dean opened his mouth to argue back, but Sam cut him off "its not your choice, anyway, Dean."

Garth smiled, "we can just do a couple and keep it simple. We can stop if you want Sam at any point. Dean, I know you're worried for him, and that's okay. But you can't control him; you just can't."

Dean refused to join in as a matter of principle. He sat on the bed with Sam stood next to the bed, just far enough that he could change position but close enough if he fell Dean could pull him safely onto the bed. Dean keen focus watched Sam every wobble for any signs of trouble, but his baby brother managed to stay on his feet through Garth beginner class of yoga with minimal trouble.

After Sam collapsed back onto the bed, he batted off Deans hands as he lay back. He rubbed his face and asked for the meditation to start. Dean grabbed the CD player from the locked cabinet beside Sam's bed and plugged it in. He picked a CD meditation at random; it wasn't like he knew what made one 'good', so he did not bother to read the back. He took a minute to work out how the CD player worked before playing the guided meditation. "Okay, Sam, it's coming on now," Dean said as the smoothing music before the talking began.

Sam kept his eye shut as he focused on the voice on the meditation. He followed it as it guides his breathing and mind into a peaceful calm. Garth joined in on his chair. Dean was generally going to join in, but instead, he spent the time watching his brother. He knew Sam was struggling more and more without sleep. Dean worried what he could do next if this did not work. Where could they go from here? It was part of the reason he was reluctant to allow Sam to try yoga today. It just seemed a good idea not to use all their ideas too quickly. To save some back for later so that they did not run out too quickly.

Dean notice as Sam face relaxed, and his breathing changed. It wasn't clear if it was the sheer length of time, the cocktail of drugs he was on, Garth yoga class or the meditation. Maybe it was a combination of all three. The important thing was Sam was asleep. Dean nudged Garth, who looked over and realised Sam was sleeping. The two hunters put the CD player away in the cupboard and snuck out the room.

Dean closed the door to his younger brother room as softly and slowly as he could. Only then did he notice Garth was holding his shoes in his hand. Surprised, he asked "shoes?", unsure what else to say. Garth smiled "I took em off for the yoga, gives me a better sense of balance barefoot. Surprised you didn't notice?". Garth was generally surprised and not annoyed by Dean, not noticing. " sorry, man, guess I was just focused on Sam" Dean apologised. Garth shrugged "no sweat".

Dean found a nurse to let them know his brother was asleep. She seemed generally relieved to hear that and said she'll tell George as soon as she could. Dean found this sweet but equality worrying; it illustrated just how ill Sam was if the nurses were worried. The two hunters headed out to the cafe as they had nothing else to do.

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used within the story.

I do this for fun, and only for fun. Thankyou for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8

Sam continued to improve bit by bit over the next few days and so by the Friday following Garth first visit, Sam was eating three tiny meals a day and sleeping at least a few hours each night. It was baby steps with plenty of challengers and relapses, but nevertheless Sam had processed in the 8 days since he was admitted.

During this time, Garth and Cas had been following up on strange monster deaths with as many other hunters they had managed to get in touch with. The deaths included more vampire nests seemly poisoned, werewolves riping their own hearts out after a fed and shapeshifters unable to control how and when they changed. Demon activity had been worryingly quiet, and it seemed like only the ghosts were unaffected by the leviathan. Dean had left the hunting to Garth and Cas, feeling a duty to stay with Sam.

Between Garth and Dean, they had rounded up everyone they could even call a hunter to help with, to help with the Leviathans situation, which was a national epidemic from what they could make out. Cas was travelling the world to find food safe for the Winchester brothers and Garth to eat plus any hunters in the area. The hunters that were too far away were advised to eat simple and organic foods.

Garth had been doing daily yoga sessions with Sam. Every night dean would leave his little brother in the hospital to go back to his dirty motel room, drink as much as he could before passing out. Dean would also research hunts for his fellow hunters to chase or more techniques to help Sam.

Despite Garth's nagging, Dean had chosen to stay in his dirty motel and not upgrade. Secretly he saw it as all he deserved. Dean had been locked in a guilt battle since finding out how crazy monsters were, the time he spent with Sam he felt guilty for not helping his fellow hunters and when he tried to help any hunters; he felt guilty for abandoning Sam.

Dean sat on the uncomfortable hospital, watching his brother slowly chewing a piece of apple. Sam swallowed hard, turning to Dean he asked "so, your here more than any of the nurses at this point Dean. Hell, I've seen more of you than Lucifer the last few days". "good" interrupted Dean "that's what we want. Rid of Lucifer". "let me finish" snarled Sam in response "Dean the problem is how much you're here! I'm getting better, but you're going to make yourself sick. Are you even sleeping?".

Dean sighed "enough; I'm okay!" He snapped. Sam just stared Dean, noticing the bags under Dean's eyes and the paleness to his skin. He was going to be as sick as Sam soon, and Sam needed Dean to be healthy to look after him. Sam knew his brother; Dean needed to get out, to hunt. "just have a day or two off. I'll eat hospital food or leave Garth in charge, I will be fine, but I need you to be. please, Dean, find a job and have fun, ya?"

Dean sighed loudly again, giving up the fight for now at least. He feared Sam might have 'episode' if he got upset so he couldn't risk pressing the matter. He promises to think about it as he prompted Sam to eat some more.

A few minutes later, Sam decided he'd ate enough and pushed the tray with the fruit away from him as he pulled his legs onto the bed and relaxed backwards. "So, what about the leviathan," asked Sam, generally curious, Sam hadn't asked about the outside world over during his stay so far, so the question shocked Dean who had chosen to keep the mysterious monster deaths and poisoned food secret from his brother. Which was reasonable considering how

Dean took a moment before answering "I didn't know really, I passed all our information to Garth and left him to it".

"really?" Sam asked, looking shocked at his brother "your making Garth do it alone?". Dean rubbed his face "been kindof busy Sam. Anyway, Garth isn't on his own; he has hunters friends and acquaintances to help him. Told him to leave us out of it and he respected that." snapped Dean "Sam the hunter life has killed us both, sent us both to hell and look at you now. Do you really think I'm eager to hop straight back in? Really?". Sam answered "I think you wouldn't, couldn't, walk away for Lisa and Ben. Never mind me". Dean pretended to ignore it, but Sam comments cut him deep. Dean still regretted what he had done to Lisa and Ben even if they couldn't remember. But Sam was right; Dean did miss the feeling of being on a hunt.

And so, when Garth arrived Dean had a quick word with him, Garth shared a ghost case he'd been wanting to investigate but hadn't had the time yet with the other monster cases. It appeared to be an easy hunt. Dean was confident he could be back within a day to Sam and if not, he could ring Garth or Cas for help.

Sam was generally glad when Dean told him Garth would be bringing his dinner and possibly breakfast the next day. Dean said it was for "RR", but Sam strongly suspected it was hunt related. Sam knew Dean wasn't going to give him any detailed and he was glad of that as Sam didn't want any information that lucifer could use against him once his brother was gone. Even if I were Sam idea for Dea to take a break, it wouldn't stop Sam from missing Dean when he did.

Dean arrived at his motel to read the research Garth had sent him before packing and setting off on the hour's drive to his first case in over a week. It seemed pretty straightforward from what he had read, and a little leg work confirmed it to him.

It was a low trier ghost out for revenge that never meant to hunt the incident but sometimes lost control.

The man's wife had been murdered by a local gang one night on her way home from a late shift. The murders were his first victims, followed by more low lives that had similar morals and views towards women. However, like every ghost, he had begun to lose control. Now people were dying from going to close to the house, nevermind there morals or crimes.

The man had been cremated, so something else was tying him to the earth. The ghost gave a minimal fight as Dean searched the house for whatever was holding them here. Dean found an odd-looking bracelet which angered the spirit when he picked it up; Dean hit the ghost with the iron poker to defriend himself and dispersed the ghost from the solid. Dean inspected the beans to realise one had a small hair in it. It was probably a gift from him to his wife to keep his spirit close or something.

Without hesitation, Dean shot the ghost as it tried to retake its human form. He throws all the jewellery into a small trash bin and set it alight. He watched with a heavy heart as the ghostly figure burned up and then disappeared.

The sun had set when he got back into his car for the hour-long drive back. He considered visiting Sam but decided it would be too late anyway. Back at the motel, he rang the hospital to check on Sam, rang Garth to update him and had a lukewarm shower (the motel didn't have the best boiler) before calling Cas. Cas brought him a double cheeseburger, and they chatted as they ate. Dean still hadn't truly forgiven Cas for what had happened to Sam, but he was beginning to.

For the first time in over a week Dean fell to sleep at a reasonable time without the aid of beer nor whisky. He slept soundly until he was woken by the hospital, ringing him the next morning.

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters included. Reviews and comments are ALWAYS welcome. Hope you are enjoying the story.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sam was asleep when the angel appeared beside his bed. Cas had come to visit his friend and see if there was anything more he could do for him. A week ago, there was really nothing to fix his brain was in such a bad state. But Dean had told Cas that Sam was recovering, so he hoped Sam brain would be in a suitable place to fix. He was terrified if he was wrong if time and human techniques wouldn't be enough for Sam. If Sam mind was in the same sorry state as a week ago.

Cas cleared his throat, which stirred Sam. Sam laid for a second before his eyes shot open. For almost a week now Sam had been managing to sleep; the real luxury of this was the break from Lucifer for a few hours. Sam had also been more successful at ignoring Lucifer which had led to times where Lucifer left Sam alone through the day. However, Sam would always pay for these breaks when Lucifer returned.

Sam sat upright and pulled his fights up at ready. His vision turned red as bugs ran up his body. The smell of rotten fleshing turned Sam's stomach. All he could hear was Lucifer laugh scratching through his mind. He tried to tell himself he wasn't in the cage, he had escaped, and he was okay.

Then Sam spotted Cas, which tripled Sam's mental torment. He couldn't tell or even guess if Cas was real. It was possible the angel was visiting him but had assumed after Cas had given up on him, he wouldn't see him again. Angels aren't known for sentiment value, after all. Then again, Sam generally believed Cas did feel guilt over what had happened to Sam; after all, he had triggered Sam mental breakdown when he removed the wall to his mind. It might have been a trick of his mind, but that seemed unlikely, for his recovering mind to create a new hallucination.

Sam began shaking, whispering to himself that the angels weren't real. Cas reaches to try and comfort him, but it had the opposite effect. Sam began to bang his head against the pillow, and when this didn't give him the desired effect of shaking his world back into reality, he pulled his body up to bang his head against the wall behind him. The whole time Sam felt trapped by Lucifer's hollowing laughter.

Cas pulled Sam back from the wall, restraining him then screaming for help. Which Lucifer took as an opportunity to join in making it worst. Doctors ran into the small room and took over the restraining of Sam. Cas steps back with a sigh as Sam was pinned back to the bed and given drugs to calm him back down. The fear stayed in Sam's eyes, but the thrashing and screaming stopped.

Cas realised it was a blunder to come and started heading towards the narrow door. Before he got there, he was stopped by a small but strong-willed nurse "who are you? What did you do? This is a locked ward, and I don't know who you are". Cas tried to squeeze past her, but he was stopped again. The nurse continued "this is not a criminal matter yet, but it will be very, very soon. So answer the question. Who Are You?" she spat the last few words. Fear spiked through Cas.

Meanwhile, Dean was woken by his phone ringing, lifting it revealed it was Sam's ward ringing. "Hello, Dean speaking. Is Sam okay? Has something happened? I was on my way in any way" said Dean without pausing for an answer. Dean froze, as the nurse explained they had found an unknown "visitor" in Sam's room. He knows it was Cas from the description of his clothes. He told they were sort of friends and he had triggered a lot of Sam's recent episode of mental illness.

Now the nurses had an idea who Cas was they decided to keep him in a side office until they determine whether to include the police. Cas sat quietly hearing Deans prayers. He wanted to leave, but he couldn't risk losing any more of Deans trust. And so Cas reading the handwashing poster on the opposite side and waited.

On the ward, Dean made a beeline for his brother's room, a couple of nurses tried to stop him, but he couldn't stop until he knew Sam was safe. Sam was laid on his bed, still expect his heavy breathing. He looked okay to expect the pure fear in his eyes. Dean swallowed hard assessing his brother, wishing there was something, anything he could do.

Dean sighed and turned to the nurse. The nurse explained how they were completely perplexed by who Cas had managed to get onto the ward plus it was unclear if Cas had done anything to Sam. Dean doubted he had but was confused why the hell Cas had come by himself with no warning. The nurse said they could make it a police matter if Dean wanted, but he refused, saying he would rather speak to Cas.

Dean entered the room Cas was held in, prepared for a fight. Cas was slumped on the chair looking completely unangelic and very human. Dean paused, shocked at how defeated the angel looked. "so? what the hell? last time I saw Sam he was fine. Well not fine but he was sat, talking and knew what was real. now he lead on his bed completely locked in his fear" Dean realised he was shouting, he took a deep breath and collapsed into a chair "What the hell man?" Dean asked with a sigh.

"I wanted to visit Sam to help if I could, if not to comfort a friend. I'm realising it was a mistake" answered Cas.

"well yeah, Sherlock. Sam was doing well before today, what did you do anyway?" Dean said deciding Cas hadn't meant but unable to forgive him. Afterall, meaning to and causing harm were two different notions. "Nothing" said Cas "I just appeared, and he started to freak out." Dean almost laughed, almost, "well you don't think just appearing might upset someone who can't tell when he's dreaming, hallucinating or just plain seeing something."

"oh" sighed Cas "I did not think of that." Typical angel logical thought Dean, they often missed judged humans instincts and reactions. Dean considered for a minute "What do you mean help? I thought we were down to _human methods _now". Cas explained how he had thought Sam brain might have healed to a point where he could use his angel magic to at least help or maybe even heal Sam. Dean hoped Cas was right, but he didn't believe he could be. After all, if he couldn't do anything before, then why would he be able to now.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used within this story.

Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

After a few moments of talking to Cas, Dean and Cas went to see Sam together. Sam was laid on the bed, breathing softy with his eyes almost shut. From a distant, he looked asleep, but Dean could tell he was awake. Dean signalled to Cas to wait by the door and knelt next to his brother.

"Sam" whispered Dean, taking his brother's hand in his "it's me, its Dean. Sam! I'm here, and I'm real" Dean told his bother, tears filling his eyes as fear filled him in case Sam hadn't recovered from his earlier freakout.

However, to Dean's relief, "I know Dean. I'm crazy, not stupid" Sam responded with a smile, but there was still the tortuous pain in his eyes. Sam sat himself upon the bed with a little help from Dean. A dark confusion covered Sam's face "Dean, did Cas come? I saw him, or I thought I did, he looked real. Real real not lucifer real. But it doesn't make sense" Sam rambled to Dean. Dean hugged his baby brother into his to his chest, scared to tell Sam the truth.

"Yeah Sam, Cas came to see you" Dean admitted, watching Sam's face go from confusion to understanding and returning to confusion again. "why?" asked Sam. Dean wasn't sure what to tell him, he was reluctant to give too much hope just to risk it been taken away. Dean explained slowly, carefully considering each word individually "well, he's been helping Garth, and some other hunters hunt whilst we been _busy"_ busy was the wrong word. Still, Dean didn't know the right one, so he continued "I haven't forgotten what he did to you, to us, and I haven't forgiven him for what he did. But this leviathan thing is big and we kind of needed the help. He came to apologise to you and well see if there was anything he could do to help you further."

Sam nodded; he had made his share of mistakes and understood how Cas was probably feeling. He didn't know why, but despite everything, he still considered Cas a friend and had been morning him when they thought he had died. Sam was also glad to hear Dean was staying in the hunter loop despite the time he was spending with him. Sam had worried who Dean would be if he faded out from the hunter life which had formed his identity for so long. The world Dean had lived in since he was five.

Cas cleared his throat in the doorway, and Dean glanced to him, signing to the angel to come over. Sam, however, didn't looked, his attention solo on Dean. Sam had worried about his brother in the day he hadn't seen him and then the distress of seeing Cas had taken the final logical thoughts from Sam for a while. He was slowly becoming himself again but still needed his brother attention to feel safe. Cas walked to the bedside and bent next to the bed. Sensing someone approach, Sam pulled into Dean's side, trying to make himself safe. Or at least feel safe.

Dean, realising that Sam was looking comfort pulled his brother closer, rubbing his back slightly. Sam allowed his eyes to wander across to the angel, bent next to him. "hi" Sam croaked to Cas, voice hoarse from the shouting. Cas smiled at his friend, "hey" he answered "I've come to see you, Sam. See if I could help. I am so sorry for what I did to you, Sam."

To Dean's and Cas's surprise, Sam rolled his eyes. Sam was usually the kinder and more forgiving brother. "yeah, I'm sure you are, but that doesn't make it any better" Sam spat back. Dean leaned back on his heels, eyebrows up and waited to see what would happen next.

"I could forgive what you have done to me; I get you felt like you had no choice. I get you were scared and felt betrayed, and I can get that. But watching Dean suffer is too much just to forgive and forget" Sam continued. Dean stared for a second; Sam was mad at Cas for Dean distress, not his own which had hospitalised Sam. Dean couldn't comprehend this for a moment. Sam had always been a more empathic brother. But it was crazy for him to be more concerned over Dean than himself. "Sam, I'm fine" Dean said, trying to reassure his younger brother, pulling him into a hug. But it did nothing to calm his brother, who quickly shook off his brother efforts to comfort him. "Your not okay Dean" he yelled, he turned to Cas "go! Get out of here now. I can't forgive you. You hurt Dean and me in ways no one can fix, certainly not you. So just leave, please! just leave for now." Sam spat.

Dean tried to apologise to Cas as the angel stormed out the room. Sam rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Dean gave up on following the angel and turned to his brother. Sam was clearly in distress, and it killed Dean that he couldn't help. Now Dean was carrying the added guilt of knowing Sam was worried for him.

Dean dropped into the chair beside where his brother was laid, unsure what today. Sam stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the hell that was his mind. Neither brother spoke as the morning went by.

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters used within this story


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Later the same day, Garth arrived for his usual meditation and yoga session with Sam. Arriving at the car park, he wasn't surprised to see Dean car in it's usual place when he arrived. Entering the locked ward, he could sense something was different. Walking into the now-familiar room, he saw restraints out for Sam and had recently been removed. His eyes floated across Dean tired, confused and scared face. However, Sam's face was most troubling of all, it had none of the emotions Dean's face. His face was void of any real emotion, yet his eyes were locked on the wall as though he was trying to outstare an invisible man. Which, considered Garth, Sam probably was. Garth swallowed hard before continuing his walk into the room and put his bags down. Dean's eyes flicked to Garth, but he made no other reaction.

"so?" a puzzled Garth asked, unsure of his question. Before he had time to think or Dean could construct an answer in his mind, Sam answered which shocked both Garth and Dean.

"Cas came to visit. Oh, apparently he's a good guy again by the way, or maybe you knew that? Dean didn't tell me but whatever, sure he had a good reason for a team up with the guy who did this. That took away my mind away. Betrayed me! Betrayed you! Betrayed us, Dean!" Sam had begun to shout, Dean was sat with his mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to construct a reply, struggling to find an improbable defence for allowing this to happen to Sam.

Sam took a deep calming breath and continued "It freaked me out a little to suddenly see the person that broke my mind wall in front of me without warning, so I slammed my head into the wall. I'm sorry, but I failed, everything you guys did, tried to do. I didn't breathe or think or meditate. I went, and pure animalist instinct overtook. It seems a reasonable way to deal at the time, but I accept it wasn't right. They had to drug me and tie me down, to stop me, to protect me and I get that. But I hated it too. Losing control. Been pinned down, paralysed by drugs and fear. It was a bit awful." Sam's voice began to break as his strong emotions threaten to take over again, but before his control slipped again, Sam took a deep breath and calmed himself back down.

"Anyway, they rang Dean who talked to Cas and then Dean brought Cas back to fix me. Yes, fix me disparate him saying human methods was the only option last time he was here. Anything I told him to P* off as I have no reason believe him. Plus everyone appears to be ignoring how hard this on Dean. How he is looking worse than me at this point! Then Cas left, and we sat like this until you arrived" Sam explained, "I miss anything?" he added asking glancing to Dean. A pale, shell-shocked Dean shook his head to indicate he had nothing to add.

Garth, feeling more confused, sighed and dropped into the spare chair.

The three-man remained in silence until Sam started making weird hand movements as if he was trying to swap a fly. Meanwhile, only seen by Sam, Lucifer began trying to give wet willies. "Alright there, Sammie?" asked a slightly amused Dean. Sam glanced at his older brother, "It's just Lucifer being annoying. It's nothing really. It's just hard to ignore it all sometimes. Especially after the stress of, well yeah" answered Sam. Dean smiled slightly, Sam was much calmer than his rant at Garth, or at Cas. Or indeed his fit when Cas first arrived. Sam was slowing recovering, and his ability to calm himself was proof of this. "Would you fancy some yoga, Sam? It might just take some of the edges off for you," suggest Garth, knowing healing Sam may be impossible, but he was certain he could help. Sam smiled and agreed, thankful that despite the bad morning, his friend hadn't given up on him.

And so, Dean and Sam began their normal yoga routine led as always by Garth, followed by meditation. This helped Sam to process the events of the morning and reassured Dean that Sam's progress so far hadn't been in vain. Yes, this morning was a significant set back for Sam, and there was no easy fix to Sam condition. But the brothers were sure a fix was possible.

Garth sat with Sam for Dean to go back to the motel for a shower as he been unable to that morning due to rushing to the hospital. Dean was relieved by the break from the intensity of Sam hospital room where the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Dean was able to thick over what had happened, to understand that Cas had caused a great set back in Sam progress, but Sam was still better than when he had gone in.

The break from Dean also gave Sam some time to relax and consider the events of the morning. He chatted about it with Garth, mainly as he so many questions. Garth explained as simply as he could without giving too many scary or nasty details, careful not to upset or freak out Sam. He was aware of how fragile Sam was but believing he deserved the truth.

A refreshed Dean came back and caught Sam up on everything they had learnt about the levanth and how they had been poisoning the food which had been killing monsters in turn. Finally, the brothers were close to being equal as they had been in a long while. Or at least equally informed, Dean was not willing to allow any of the responsibility or work onto his baby brother's shoulders just yet.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS INCLUDED WITHIN THIS STORY.


	12. chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next few days were difficult for Sam after his encounter with Cas. Sam understood working with Cas was their best hope and knew Cas was trying to regain their trust, but he still did not trust him, and he refused to forgive him. The knowledge Dean felt the same but felt it was safe to work with Cas gave him strange confidence. Sam had always looked up to his brother, even when he had pretended, he didn't. Even when he walked away and tried to live a normal life. Even when he was high on demon blood and Ruby whispering in his ears. Even when Dean had pushed him away and considered him a monster. Sam had loved and admired Dean.

Only with Sam's permission, Dean enrolled Cas into the care of Sam with himself and Garth. They became team support for Sam gave Dean time to relax instead of living between Sam hotel room and the motel room. Garth forced Dean to move from the dirty motel to a shared four-star hotel suite. For Dean, a hotel with any stars seemed unrealistically posh. The taste of luxury and time to rest allowed Dean to recover from his long stretch of caring for his brother. He was also able to grieve the of Bobby.

Lucifer was still there, but most of the time, it was an annoying buzz in the background. That's not to say it was smooth or easy, but everyday Sam was a little bit better than the day before.

Dean was sat in his usual chair, looking a lot healthier than he had a few days ago. Sam was sat on his bed, legs crossed, looking more human than he had for a while. Cas stood awkwardly in the corner; he was a vital part of the fight against the leviathan but was still to regain the trust and friendship he'd held with the brothers. Garth sat on the floor, simultaneous looking odd and through he belonged in a way only Garth could. The four guys were chatting, smiling and laughing with each other.

"So," Sam cleared his throat to get their attention "this is great and all, but there a lot going happening out there. we need to focus."

Dean's head snapped up, "No, Sam. No way! We've been through this! Your not well enough to be involved. In any of it! Not even the planning, Sam." his voice shook as he said it, full of fear for Sam and an overwhelming sense of his need to protect his baby brother.

"Dean, having Sam in this fight might be useful. I mean this is apocalypse level stuff" Cas suggested, completely matter of factly and without emotion.

"We've been through apocalypses before, hell with our luck there will probably be another one for Sam to join in with!" Dean argued back. "well the thing is, it's not our decision, its Sam's choice Dean" defended Garth. "Sam not well enough to make that sort of decision. He's in a locked ward. He is lucky to pick his own bathroom breaks!"

"right here you know" Sam announced "I can hear you. They're right Dean, it's my choice, and I can be helpful to this fight. So I'm opting in. I'll do it on your terms, I'll stay off the front line. I'll do whatever you say, as long as you don't lock me out!"

Dean considered arguing but sensed he had lost. Anyway, he knew his brother, and he knew he either work with Sam to keep him safe or risked Sam putting himself into the front line. That meant on top of defeating the leviathan; he had to protect Sam. At all costs, just like always. Expect this time was worse, Sam was not in a headspace to look after himself, never mind have his brother's back. Sure he had Garth, Cas and other hunters but it wasn't the same, not even close to having his brother's protection. They would literally go to hell for each other. He felt the weight of it on his shoulders, no matter how many spa evening Garth made him do. Dean tried and failed to relax as the conversation continued.

"We need to start the fight back, sooner rather than later" Sam declared "I know I'm not going to be a major part of this fight, not while I'm still in this room, I can't exactly research when they don't let me on the internet without supervision, but please keep me in the loop". Garth agreed with a nod and a smile, "we keep informed Sam. So, what do we know?" he asked.

"They poisoned the food, so people act like their tripping. Monsters are dying from whatever it is, which personally I'm on board with. But it's not all good news, they're planning something and not something good" Dean said with a smirk. Sam laughed at this and Garth smirked. "We can stop em with Leviathan or chop their heads off" added Garth.

"there's more," Cas said causing the three other heads to snap to him "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I heard on angel radio the profit translated 'cut off the head, and the rest will flounder.' It might be a key to defeating the Leviathan

"what! Why didn't you tell us earlier" Dean barked to Cas as he tensed up and moved towards Cas although he wanted a fight. Cas tensed at the threat and held his ground, he was not going to hurt Dean, but that didn't mean he would let him talk to him like that. "Dean" Cas hissed back "it's been hard, I've only been back from the day a week? I'm only getting glimpses of information though angel radio, fragments I've pieced together Dean! I was not easy. It took time to put together. And I want to keep under the radar as much as I can."

"okay" sighed Dean, releasing the tension "so we go see Chuck again, kind of missed the guy" he added with a slight chuckle. "No, not Chuck. It's someone new".

"What happened to Chuck?" asked Sam. "it is unclear" answered Cas "but I'm afraid a new profit only comes when the last one dies." As hunters, they all knew the pain of loss, but it never got any easier.

After a few uncomfortable minutes, Sam cleared his throat "so, the head that's got to be Dick. We just need a way to kill them for sure and a plan to get to Dick."

"great more research," said Dean with just a hint of a smile, hoping this would be over sooner than he thought and they could begin to move on. He and Sam were ready for a well desired holiday. See if sand and sea might just fix his baby brothers head.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED WITHIN THIS STORY. HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING IT. ALL FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED BUT PLEASE DONT BE MEAN. I AM JUST DOING IT FOR FUN.

ALSO WE ARE IN STRANGE TIMES, PLEASE STAY SAFE EVERYONE


	13. Chapter 13

Sam next therapy session was later the same afternoon. Dean attended with Sam for moral support. In the week and a half of Sam's stay, three therapists had tried and failed to engage Sam. Dean was starting to become annoyed by Sam refusal of therapy. Dean felt he was doing everything he could but was saw the professionals could do it better. Although Sam's attitude toward therapy was beginning to relax. The therapist wanted Sam to attend three sessions a day of CBT in the therapy room, art theory has been offered serval times but each time had been shot down without discussion. This room was decorated with cool, calming blues and large canvas photos of scenery such as oceans and forests. It had two large armchairs and one comfortable sofa, multiple blanks, draws full of therapy tools and even a few soft toys. Dean found it kind of soothing and nice but Sam found it annoying. Sam knew he was crazy, he didn't see why this needed to be highlighted by taking him to the soft playroom for crazy people.

Anyway, Sam was doing it for Dean so he curled comfortably on a large armchair with a blanket wrapped around him. If he had to talk about the stuff that it literally hurt to tell people about, he might as well be comfortable. Claire, his therapist sat on the sofa, with a note pad in hand ready to make notes around his crazy. Lucifer sat in the background, therapy was the hardest time for Sam to ignore Luifier so he just accepted he was going have to put up with him. The therapist thought the cage was a metaphor for his guilt which Sam thought was an alright comparison. She said him being soulless was a common dealing method which made Sam laugh, knowing he was for real soulless at the time, not finding a coping method.

Overall the therapist was pleased with Sam's progress but both the brothers were surprised when she discussed Sam being discharged, on the condition he would return for one or two sessions per day. Dean began to argue Sam needed the expertise of the hospital but she pointed out most of the work had been done by Dean. In fact, she felt Sam might respond better to be in the community as he fought the therapy sessions offered here. She reassured them that if Sam did relapse down, he can always be readmitted. Sam response was much simpler "finally, I thought I was going to have to break out!" with a laugh. Dean smirked but turned back to Claire, "you know we don't exactly have a permitted address, is Sam okay to stay in a hotel? or should I find someplace to rent?" he asked, cogs turning in his head.

Lucifer laughed, "ask for somewhere with a hot tub. Some waterboarding could be fun, Sammy" then started dancing around the room. Suddenly, he stopped "wait, please say its not some horrible Motel? I nearly got leprosy last time". Sam watched but kept focused on not responding or reacting.

"Sam, you alright?" Dean practically yelled to get through to Sam to look up. When Sam did he realised Dean and Claire were staring at him, watching for a response to whatever the question had been. "yeah, sorry. Lucifer just has a few questions about accommodation, but I'd rather ask them when its just me and him. Dean, I mean". Dean's brow creased with concern. "okay," said Claire with a slight smile, "your both" she glanced to Dean "welcome to ask me any questions you have any time. It will take a few days, maybe more before Sam can actually leave but I'm happy to start the process. Accommodation wise, wherever Sam is comfort. However, I would suggest you consider safety. Sam is going for a monitored room in a locked ward so I wouldn't give him too much space. Just in case. Maybe share a hotel room, or if you do find a house or flat to rent, lock doors and ensure its safety. Sorry, Sam, it can seem rude to say that, but its important to keep safe. It's a big change and you can do it. But it isn't going to be hard."

"no worries" answer Sam, he was nervous and was glad safety was being considered but he was happy to leave that to Dean to sort. That felt kind of selfish but Sam knew he had other things to focus on. After a few minutes of polite conversation, the brothers walked back to Sam room, Dean settled Sam into the room before setting off to his hotel room.

* * *

Back in the hotel room, Dean sat on the bed to try and do some research on his laptop as Garth potted around. "S*" yelled Dean as his laptop booted up his laptop and got a message, it was from Frank.

"what?" asked Garth, spinning around and scanned for danger before focusing on Dean's laptop.

The message confirmed the worst had happened and more. Frank was dead and his hard drive was being hacked. And, given Frank computer skills and paranoid nature, it would take some skill to do so. An image of a girl in her late 20's flashed up. Dean figured this was taken on the webcam as she hanked it. She looked shocked and scared and confused and a little proud all at the same time, which was a slightly impressive range of emotion. Garth pulled in close "who's that?" he said leaning over Dean's shoulder. Dean froze unsure how to explain Frank, his paranoid but smart nature, his hard drive being hank or the new chick on his laptop. "err umm, long story. He was a friend of Bobby's. He kept a file on the leviathan, he was incredible but crazy. He went missing a few weeks back. I guess the chick is whoever managed to hack it. It has an address, well longitude and latitude coordinates anyway." Dean explained before googling the coordinates, "oh it's in Chicago, great" Dean added.

Silence sat heavily for a moment.

Dean broke the silence with "so a road trip to Chicago then?" with a slight grin. "Dean that like three hours away, do you really want to leave Sam that long? To be that for?" Garth argued. Dean nodded and sank onto the bed "it's just frank was my friend, kind of, I got him into this. I owe it to him to see this through." "maybe I could go and you stay for Sam?" offered Garth. Dean smiled, part of him wanted to just say yes but his duty was to see what this was, he shook his head softly "I don't know Garth".

Garth sat thinking for a moment. "what able Cas? He could fly you there, right? Anything happens with Sam, I can call and have you back as soon as." Dean smiled, he hated angel transport but it was instant that made it the best option. First, he had to work out who the chick was. He longed for his brother, who was a tech wizard compared with Dean. Dean spent a few minutes trying to work out where to start then cursed. Garth had given him some space to try but then took his laptop to takeover. Garth was surprisingly fast on the laptop.

Dean called for Cas, briefly explained the situation and then Dean found himself in a small flat looking at the same girl from his laptop.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED WITHIN THIS STORY. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS UPDATE!

THANKS FOR READING

STAY SAFE IN THESE OLD TIMES


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Charlie sat playing video games when she becomes aware of someone in the room. She tried to tell herself she was just being paranoid, but when she looked over over her shoulder and saw two strange men stood in her leaving she couldn't help herself from panicking. She grabbed the nearest two items as weapons. Fortunately, one was her favourite replicate sword, unfortunately, the other was an ironic soft toy from one of her favourite shows. She wished slightly that she'd kept the controller instead of swapping for a silly toy. She stood and prepare herself for war.

"Woah there," said Dean, slightly laughing at her. "I'm armed, who are you" yelled Charlie, trying to sound menacing. "yep, I can see that," said Dean "please don't attack me with Spongebob!".

"Dean be serious, something scared the girl, she is right to defend her," said Cas, a typical angel with no real grasp of human emotions.

Dean rolled his eyes. Cas was right, this was serious and the girl was scared. "I'm sorry, let's start again," said Dean "I'm dean and this is Cas. Please excuse him, he not great with human emotion. He's an angel and we got in through magic." It was a risk to tell but Dean was aware of time plus looking around the room had suggested she be open to the unusual. Charlie's eyes were wide, she looked slightly faint.

"What's your name?" asked Cas

"Charlie" she muttered "my name's charlie. I guess we know each other now. What brings you, fellows, by?". Charlie tried to keep the tone light but she was struggling.

She dropped back on to the sofa. Dean took the armchair opposite and Cas stood next to him. Dean and Cas explained as briefly as possible about angels and demons and leviathan and everything else. They explained that everything she'd seen on the hard drive was true. Except Bobby and Frank had died and Sam was sick. Leaving team free-will a few short.

"wow! this is a wacky day!" said Charlie in conclusion.

They realised they needed the file from Dick's offence and Dick all but lived in his office. That meant only one thing, they had to break into Dick HQ with him in. The three formed a plan together, then waited for nightfall so it would be safe to excuse it.

At 10 pm it was decided it was late enough for the plan to work. Cas flew them next to the building, they stood staring at each other. Dean and CHalrie had connected surprisingly fast, with Dean feeling a strange sense of responsibility to her, she was just a kid really and he'd brought her into this danger. Charlie felt strangely loyal to Dean. Strange as the last person she'd felt loyalty to was her sister, how had died years ago.

"Heist time," said Charlie, adding "just hope it's better than Ocean's 11"

"good luck," said Dean with a small chuckle. "oh and Cas anything goes wrong, get Charlie as far away as possible!" Dean instructed Cas, his face unusually serious. Cas and Charlie waited behind a pillar while Dean created a distraction.

Dean went to the front window, water two pistols full of cleaning fluid hanging from his belt with a third in his hand. In his other hand, he carried a heavy mallet. He felt like an action hero ready for the fight. He got to the glass front door, he turned and swung the mallet. The glass shattered. He continued to do this on all the glass doors and windows on the front of the building, hoping to get Dick to come down.

Behind the pillar, Charlie watched Dean and his every move with intensive fear, her heart pounding against her chest. While Cas was completely composure as he watched Dick in his office, ready and waiting for the moment it was clear to fly him and Charlie up.

Dean climbed into the building, pulling the fire alarms and looking for anything else to smash. Once the lobby was suitably destroyed, Dean began climbing the stairs to repeat on the next floor.

Charlie strained her eyes as Dean disappeared further into the building. Her heart managed to pound faster and harder as she realised there was no going back now. Cas watched as Dick left his office and headed for the stairs. Cas gave it a few minutes to be sure Dick was gone before asking Charlie "you ready?" Before Charlie had an opportunity to answer, Cas had grabbed her shoulder and flown her into Dicks office. This was good as Charlie felt although she could never be ready for this. If Cas had waited, she was not sure she would have been able to answer.

Dean was destroying the third floor when he heard footsteps running towards him. He smiled slightly, glad he didn't need to climb any more steps. He dropped the mallet, it would be useless against Dick, arguably worse than useless as the weight would slow him down. Dean positioned himself at the foot of the stairs and prepared to fight. He raised his gun as the steps got closer.

Cas had positioned himself at the door, listening for Dick returning or Dean needing help. Charlie had ran straight to the computer and started to copy the hard drive.

A few minutes later, Dick appeared. Dean used the pistol to soak him in the cleaning fluid. Dick slowed, stumbled and then fell down the stairs. Dean took the opportunity and started to fight him.

Charlie's first step was to get passed the password. Child's play, she thought as she began to guess it, she could of course work around it but it would take longer. Which, she feared, was time they did not have. Luckily, Dick was full of himself, righteous and predictable. His password was Dick4ever. She smirked slightly.

Charlie had inserted the USB memory drive and was copying the hard drive as fast as she could. Cas yelled at her to hurry up, that Dean was in trouble but she could only wait. She insisted multiple times for Cas to rescue Dean and she'd be done by the time he got back.

A few minutes later, Dean was struggling to hold back Dick. The pistols were useful but he was trying to conserve them as the first had run out and been abanded across the room. Dean was strong after a lifetime of fighting monsters, but he was quickly getting beat. Dean swore as the first gun ran out. He began to pray to Cas.

80% Charlie told an eager Cas, who was rocking on his heels as he listened to the fight below.

Dick grabbed the arm Dean had the second, almost full pistol in and through it to the wall. This smashed the gun and broke Dean's arm in the process. Dean swore but grabbed the third gun and continued to fight.

82% updated Charlie, as Cas tried to work out what was happening from Dean's prayers and the sounds travelling up the stairwell.

As the battle raged on, Dean's prayers became more of a beg. He was two guns down, with a broken arm and he needed Evac right away

89% said charlie as Dean begged for help. Cas knew he was out of time. "Come-on Charlie," he snapped "I can't leave you here! alone!". "93%" she yelled back "get Dean then get me".

Dean felt the slap and heard the thud of his head hitting the wall before falling unconscious.

Cas was calculating quickly, the hard drive still had a few minutes to download and Dean needed help now. He was considering options when Dean's prayers disappeared. Cas yelled "be ready" to charlie before disappearing.

Cas saw his friend unconscious at Dicks's feet. One gun lay empty and discarded and the second was smashed in a pile next to the wall with a wet patch on the wall indicating where it had hit. The third was still in Dean's hand when he was knocked out. Cas knew he could not win against Dick, but he did not have too. All he had to do was slow him down enough for them to escape. He punched a distracted Dick as he began to head up the stairs, believing he had won. Quickly, he grabbed the gun from Dean and fired at Dick. It was less than half full but it was enough to shield him while he grabbed Dean. He swung him over one should and flow straight to Charlie.

Cas re-appeared behind Charlie, an unconscious Dean over one shoulder. "ready?" he asked, glancing at the screen, the download was at 99%. "nearly" mumbled Charlie. Dicks footsteps became louder as he ran up the stairs. 100% flashed across the screen and Charlie pulled out the memory stick. "ready" she yelled as the office door swung open. Cas grabbed her shoulder and flew the three of them back to her apartment.

Charlie collapsed into the armchair as Cas lay Dean onto the sofa. Charlie took a deep and said, "whacky day might be an understatement!"

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED WITHIN THIS STORY.

I hope you enjoyed this story. Any and all feedback or reviews are welcome


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Dean woke up a few a minutes later. He was laid on a stranger sofa and for a disorientating moment, he couldn't work put why. He could hear voices arguing but couldn't make out the words. Half asleep he rolled off the sofa and called for Sam.

Across the room, Cas and Charlie argued over what Charlie should do next. Cas wanted Charlie to run. Pack up and go. Dick knew she had worked with them and there were no safe places left. From Cas's point of view, her only option was to run. To run fast and run far until they were able to defeat dick and she could return to her mundane life.

Charlie, on the other hand, saw it differently. She figured if she couldn't be safe, she might as well be fighting. Plus, she was sick of running and ready to make her final stand. Furthermore, she could tell the two men had no idea about technology. Yes, they were good fighters, but they would be clueless without her they needed her to stay to interpret the hard drive for them. To be there tech guy, well girl.

"Woah what did I miss" asked Dean, rubbing his head slightly. He remembered being knocked out against the wall. He should have a concussion at the very least possibly brain damage. Yet here he was, right as rain in Charlie's apartment. He would never get used to angel magic it, would always freak him. He sat for a moment to allow his mind to catch up with his magically healed body.

Dean walked over to Cas and Charlie. "Stop it" he yelled, then dropped his voice now he had their attention "We don't have time for this. If Charlie wants to come, we'll bring her back to the hotel. Charlie, you need to either way. We need to go. Ten minutes, pack now!" he instructed. He glanced at his watch, 10.40 pm, the full mission including him nearly dying had only taken around thirty minutes. Had to be said, they were time efficient.

A phone began to ring. Dean grabbed his phone, to find it smashed. He wondered if angel magic could work on a cell-phone. Probably not. Cas had answered his phone a moment after Dean had reach for his, no one rang Cas. Well, not no-one but barely anyone. He was unsure of human technology. This was why Dean had assumed it was his phone. Dean should have realised, only two people rang Cas and he was one.

"Sam, your not making any sense" Cas snapped down the phone. Dean walked across the apartment and snatched the phone from Cas. "Sam, what's up?" he asked.

Sam's voice was thin and scared "Dean, I might be crazy" his kid brother began "I tried to ring you but you didn't answer. Dean, they came for me. I don't know who, monsters. They were in the hospital. I didn't know what - shut up Lucifer - so I ran. yes alright! Lucifer said he saved me - he wants you to know -shut up, I told him."

Dean stared into space. His brother's thoughts were disconnected and Lucifer had some control. "Sam listen to me. WHERE ARE YOU?" he asked his brother, slow and calm. "diner -shut up -diner on the second building on Hazel road. I don't know its name -that is not its name - sorry lucifer was, well. I can see the street sign."

"I'm coming little brother, don't move," Dean told his baby brother "guys, we need to go. Cas the address is Hazel street, near the hospital. That's all I know" he instructed Cas before running to help Charlie to finish packing.

Charlie was fast at packing after years of practice. This wasn't the first time she had restarted. In fact, she saw this as a win given this time she was leaving with friends, or at least known people. Her prized object, a small bear she'd had all her life, she stuffed into the top of the bag. Two bags, that was all she needed. One over Dean's shoulder and the other on her back.

The three gathered in the living room. "Listen," said Dean "Sam isnt well and he can be unpredictable. Stay quiet and give us space. I'll get him then we'll go to the hotel and work out what to do next" Charlie nodded. Cas placed his hands on Dean's and Charlie's shoulders and flow them to Sam.

Cas and Charlie stood back on the street to keep watch for any leviathan or other monsters to come while Dean went inside to get Sam.

Sam was sat towards the back of the diner, his back to the window and a hat on his head and was in a stole shirt. If Dean didn't have a radar for his brother, he might not have recognised him. Aside from the fact he was 6-foot-4 and talking to himself, well to Lucifer. Dean rolled his eyes, thinking of all the effort Sam had put into hiding but hadn't thought to shut up.

Dean cautiously walked over, wrapping his fingers around his knife in case he had to prove who he was. Dean sat opposite Sam "hey Sammy" he said. Lucky, Sam was more lucid than he had sounded on the phone. He managed to explain what had happened at the hospital.

Dean realised the attack on the hospital had happened within minutes of them attacking Dick's building. Dean hated himself, realising he had gone through with a plan to put Sam in danger. But they had needed the hard drive. Sam followed his brother out the building, Dean introduced Charlie as a friend who had helped. Sam took it surprisingly well and kindly took the bags from the girl. Dean kept an arm on Sam as Cas flew all four of them into the hotel room where Garth was watching tv on the bed.

Dean rolled his eyes when he realised it was 'say yes to the dress'. Dean took the bags from his brother and piled them into the corner. "hey Garth" he called as he guided Sam to the bed. "hi" answered Garth, "you had a busy day?"

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED WITHIN THIS STORY.

Thankyou for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

chapter 16

The roomy hotel room felt crowded. Sam lay on one bed, trying to ignore Lucifer dancing around. Dean was sat on the edge of the same bed, trying to pretend he wasn't watching Sam. Garth was sat crossed-legged on the other bed while Charlie had taken the desk chair. Cas stood awkwardly in the corner but that was his style. They had so much to work out. Dean began by catching everyone up and answering questions. Garth was confused by everything he had missed at Dick's office, Sam had missed more and Charlie was confused by everything. Which was understandable given she'd only been in this world for about 12hours since she hacked the hard drive.

There were many decisions to make. First priority felt to find somewhere safe and big enough to stay. Ideally, a house that could act as a base for other hunters. No-one felt safe to stay in this town after Sam was attacked. There was some doubt over how accurate Sam's story was but news reports and social media seemed to confirm it. Additionally, Dean wanted Sam to get help for his mental health, seeing the importance of treatment. But he was unwilling to allow Sam away from him until they defeated the leviathan and he would be safe. Sam was extra cautious, not wanting to give his name or details to any health professional in case he could be traced.

They needed to read and comprehend the full hard drive and hopefully find a weapon to kill the leviathan once and for all. They hoped this would allow Charlie to go back to her life and Sam to get help and for the world to be saved, at least for a bit.

For now, they needed somewhere with more space and safe(ish at least) to rest. Dean felt uncomfortable allowing Sam or Charlie too far away from the hunters, therefore, a house where they could have their own rooms to create some privacy was preferable to a hotel. Charlie was a master hacker so money was for once nothing to worry about.

The group stared at a map, trying to figure at the perfect place. They argue trying to balance safety with being close enough to fight when the time came. They found a suitable house on Airbnb that they could stay in immediately. Dean and Sam loaded up their stolen car ready for the long drive, neither of them liked angel travel and with all the bags, it seemed easier to road trip. Whereas Charlie, Garth and Cas flew ahead, they had booked online but they needed to get the keys and could be settled in. They decided to get a few hours sleep and give the brother's a head start. Once they arrived, they would do an essentials run of food, beer and pie.

Dean was glad for the opportunity to catch up with his brother, Sam was just pleased to out of the hospital and in a car. Lucifer was sucking in the back, making snide comments about him calling short gun and it wasn't fair for him to be in the back. Sam was doing a good job at ignoring him, Sam supposed if it wasn't for the stress and his sleep-deprived state he might be okay. Most of the time for Sam, it was shadows that vanished when he tried focused onto them. Lucifer's voice was becoming more whispers in the breeze that an actual voice. More of a frustration than a threat to Sam.

"So? In the hospital, what em, happen?" Dean asked tentatively, eager to find out what had happened but cautious to further upset Sam. "well its kind of blurry" Sam answered, playing with the scar on his hand. Dean smiled, glancing at his brother, happy he was talking. Sam continued "I was in my room, looking forward to being discharged. Then people started coming in, at first I assumed they were doctors or something. But I could tell something was different, something was wrong. Lucifer reappeared and things got worse from there. They started to attack, Lucifer was telling me what to do. He was stronger, brighter, more real than he's been for a while. He told me what to do. He guided me to safety. Then I rang you and you came. Since you got there, Lucifer started to fade. He barely there anymore".

Dean sighed, not pleased to hear how strong Sam's hallucinations had got so strong again but pleased Sam had told him. Part of him wondered if leviathan had attacked Sam, he hoped they weren't doing this for nothing. But Dean trusted Sam, he knew his brother was smart. They had grown up in the world of monsters, surely Sam could still spot them, even sick. Plus Sam could tell Lucifiers visions, not completely but he could enough. Sam had no doubt he was attacked and that was good enough for Dean.

The boys maintained light conversation for the rest of the drive with silly jokes and brotherly insults Sam feel to sleep. They arrived early morning at the Air b'n'b to discover Charlie waiting in the window. Cas and Garth joined her as they parked. Dean softly woke his baby brother, telling him they had made it. Then the new team free will unpacked the car and moved into the house. It was a very basic house, a little run down but liveable. It was had 4 bedrooms, in theory, one for each human each but Dean insisted on Sam shared with him so he could protect his brother. The space room became a base for operations were all tools, weapons and the few books could be knew they needed to read it but everyone was too tired, retreating to assigned rooms to get some overdue rest.


	17. Chapter 17

WARNING. This chapter contains self-harm. If for any reason you want or need to skip it, then please do. Lookafter yourselves people!

Chapter 17

Team free will had gone to bed almost as soon as arriving at their new rented house, unsurprisingly as they had all been up the full night before. Dean woke up after a few hours, he'd never been a big sleeper. Sam was still fast asleep and snoring when he left the room. Dean glanced at the clock, it was just after 12pm. Dean decided it was late enough for a beer given the horrible and long day he'd had. He'd earnt it, he thought. Beer in hand, Dean wandered into the spare room. The room was cluttered with bags of weapons, books and anything else for hunting.

Cas had followed him in, bored of the quiet morning and been unable to do anything. The two men chatted and set up the room. They used boxes as a makeshift desk, pinned maps to the ways and pile books into an order of sort. At some point during the afternoon, Garth joined them. Eventually, they decided the room was done. Garth went to cook a brunch while Dean went to check on Sam. They agreed to leave Charlie until she woke up. The girl had been through alot, a lie-in seemed fair.

Dean walked into his and Sam shared bedroom and stopped and stared as the blood drained out of his face. What he saw was worse to Dean than any monster or demon Dean had ever faced. Sam was stood in the middle of the room, talking to some invisible form across the room. He had a hunting knife in one hand and his eyes were eerily focused.

Dean cursed and ran to his brother as both fear and rage bubbled inside him. He snatched Sam arm "what the hell!" he yelled, throwing the knife away from his brother. "why Sammy?" he begs for an answer assessing the wounder. It was deep and long. Sam was losing a decent amount of blood. He locked his jaw and sat Sam down. He grabbed a top out his bag pressing it against his brother's arms. Dean assessed his quiet brother, he was a little pale but seemed okay otherwise.

"Sam" Dean said sighing "this needs stitches lets got to the ER", hoping to get his brother mental help as well. "You can stitch it. I can't risk going into hospital. the leviathan are after us!" Sam argued back. Dean sighed, knowing he couldn't force sam into anything plus he didn't really want his brother out his sight. He continued to apply pressure to the wound, hoping to stop the bleeding.

Cas, Charlie and Garth had gathered at the door after hearing the argument. "Cas, get your butt over here. Sam needs healing" Dean called.

"No!" screamed Sam, pushing his brother away and throwing his body across the room, away from the other hunters. He pulled himself up, his injured arm pulled into his chest with the rest of his body on guard and ready to fit. "Sam" Dean yelled, "let us help you!"

Sam shook his head, "I need the pain! I need it, Dean. You heal it and it's gone! and then it's pointless!" Sam screamed back. Dean rubbed his head "what do you mean?" he asked.

Sam sighed holding out his hand which had a scar "I used to press this to control Lucifer. But it healed and now I cant. I wanted to fix it. I need a way to control this." he explains. "Sammy," Dean said slowly moving closer "you need help. Please, let me get you help."

"no, that's not safe Dean. they came for me once. They can come again. Let me do this. Please, just trust me" Sam begged.

"I do trust you, but I also want to protect you from this" snapped Dean.

"I can't just snap out of it or ignore it, Dean! I have to cope. I have to make it through, whatever it takes. Once the leviathan are gone and it's safe, I'll seek help but til then, I can't, I just can't" Sam yelled back.

Dean threw the bloody shirt to Sam, "put pressure on it Sam" he growled "I'm getting the medkit. I'll sew you up if that's what you're after. Sit on the bed and don't move till I get back." He instructed.

Dean turned to Garth on the way out, "Watch him" he told Garth and then lowered his voice to a whisper "he cut himself, don't let him near any knives." Garth nodded. Dean glanced back at his brother, who was staring at Cas terrified "Cas, with me" he called, hoping his brother would calm down with the angel out of the room.

When Dean returned, Sam was sat on the bed. He was applying pressure on his arm and the bleeding was slowing. Garth and Charlie stood at the door like guards. Sam had verbally pushed them away anytime they tried to go close. "Thanks" muttered Dean, glad they had both stayed to watch his brother, "ill say with him for now" he added.

Garth shut the door behind him, leaving the brothers alone. Dean pulled Sam arm out straight and shoved a pillow under to support it. Sam flinched at Dean's harsh movements. He didn't hurt Sam but he was rough. He wasn't in the delicate mood. Afterall Sam had done it to his self looking for pain and had refused Cas to heal him so Dean wasn't able to be gentle or focus on pain relief. Sam whimpered slightly as Dean poured rubbing-alcohol across the top and winced as Dean dragged an anti-septic wipe across the top. "well Sammy, should keep Lucifer away. Sure you don't want it healing" Dean joked watching his brother for the reaction. Sam just shook his head.

Dean pulled out the first aid kit and stitched up his brother's arm. He was scared of what to do. "you tired?" he asked as he finished, tying the final stitch. "not really" answered Sam. Dean nodded, deciding to ignore his brother's bags under his eyes in favour of saving the argument, "i'm gonna find Garth. We need to read the hard drive. Come with me yeah?."

Sam nodded and followed his brother. Dean told Cas, Garth and Charlie that Sam needed watching and he was careful to keep Sam within eyesight for the rest of the day.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED

I worked hard on this chapter and i hope it's a fair description/view of self-harm

Feels important to say, if you are struggling with mental health or self harm - please seek help. It might not seem possible but you can get better.

Thankyou for reading and as always positive feedback and constructive criticism is welcome. I hope you enjoyed it


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Dean spent the rest of the day with sam, glued to his side. He'd sorted through his stuff as Sam napped, putting all but one knife away in the study. He couldn't let Sam sleep in a room that was small arousal nor could he bear to part with the final knife. He needed something to protect them both, there were still plenty of monsters out there. "don't even think about looking at this, little brother" Dean had warned his brother as he slid the knife into his sock.

That evening, everyone had gathered in the lounge aside from Cas who had gone out to use his angel powers to see if he could get an inside scoop or any extra details to help the fight. They knew they should be making a fight plan but they had earnt the quiet night in front of the tv. Garth sat in the armchair, looking like someone grandpa despite his young age. Sam and Charlie shared the sofa with Dean sat on the floor at Sam's feet. Everyone had beer, even Sam. Dean was streaming through them like it was a competition. To Charlie's credit, she was a close second to Dean and only just feeling the buzz. Sam was nursing his drink, fearful of what may happen if he got drunk. Garth had to be rationed to weak shandies due to his low tolerance.

Dean was glancing at his baby brother every few minutes. Sam was pretending not to notice but starting to get annoyed. What exactly did Dean think he could do sat on the sofa, trapped in by Garth, Charlie, and Dean. Finally, Sam snapped. "Dean your missing half the show. please stop watching me I'm not a baby" he yelled.

Dean was slightly surprised "Sorry bro, but you can't blame me for being concerned after this morning!" Dean snapped back. Sam rolled his eyes "you're always like this! You have never trusted me!" Sam said standing up to his big brother. "maybe if you stop doing stupid stuff, I could" yelled Dean.

Sam froze, hurt by the impact of the words. Stupid stuff? he thought, is that how little he thinks of me. He began to storm out only to realise his brother was following him. "Dean quit it" he screamed. Lucifer was back, laughing and pointing after Sam had vanished him for so long. He felt a pang of disappointed rush through him.

"you can't seriously believe I'm letting you go alone?" Dean stated, squaring up to Sam. "you can even look at me straight! is he here?" he demanded of his little brother.

Lucifer laughed again, "he found out your secret Sammy, he's the third wheel to this relationship"

Sam shuck his head, "just shut up, both of you!" he screamed "fine I willn't go alone. Garth with me!". With that, he left the room. Garth was on his feet, ready to follow his friend but was stopped by Dean. Dean grabbed his shirt collar and shuck him, "anything happens to him, twice as much will happen too you" threaten Dean. Garth swallowed and ran after Sam.

"where are we going?" asked Garth. "I'm not sure, Garth, I need some air so for a walk" answered Sam.

Dean collapsed back into his brother's seat on the sofa as the door slammed. He sighed, picked up his beer, and began to drink in long thirsty gulps. Charlie watched slightly bemused by the two boys' interaction. She allowed Dean to finish a third bottle before interrupting his drinking, "its not really my place to say," she began "but I've had friends who self-pharmacist, who self-harm, take drugs and stuff. And i get this is different but direct and argumentative might not be the best technique."

Dean opened the third beer, took a big gulp, and then sighed into his hands rubbing his eyes. "no, I get that but I'm so scared for him and I've no idea what to do for the best. I mean he was making progress in the hospital until he escaped. I mean right now, it's not safe to leave him anyway but he isn't safe here neither. It's killing me honestly" he answered. Charlie nodded and took a swig of beer, "for the record, I think you're doing the right thing. You just need to accept help when its offered." she replied.

Dean laughed slightly, "heard that before. So, kid, you think you could help?" he asked. "maybe" Charlie answered, "What? you gonna tell me you got a therapist degree or something, kiddo?" Dean mocked back. "No but I've hacked medical records before and in my younger years, I did the odd drugs. Maybe I could get him back on his meds? It might just help him".

And so Charlie did, she hacked Sam's medical records, read up on the therapy strategies they were using, and began to track down the medications needed to treat Sam. They knew it wouldn't be as good as hospital treatment but it would do until the leviathan issues were over. Additionally, it made Charlie feel useful within the team.

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DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED

Thankyou for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

It was early evening the next day when Charlie finally tracked down all the medication Sam had been on, or at least drugs close enough to hopefully worth. Dean waited until they were sure they could get everything before telling Sam, not wanting to disappoint him. But now, it was almost certain and he couldn't go out without telling Sam where he would be. So, went into the lounge where Garth and Sam were sat watching TV. "Hi," said Garth smiling up yet Sam sat silently.

Dean sighed "hi Garth, Sam" as he sat onto the armchair. "Sam I'm sorry about last night. I was wrong" Dean told his brother "but I need to talk to you."

Sam kept his eyes fixed on the TV, his brother's voice no more than a blur and he was scared of what could happen if he lost control over the literal devil on his shoulder. Lucifer laughed "well little brother, what shall we tell him? big game night and can't make it? I mean I hate to break his heart but he's kind of hashing my mellow. Come on Sammy, talk to me! isn't this our date night? or you could try cutting again if you really want to "

Meanwhile, Dean was still trying to talk to his brother but nothing was getting through to Sam. "enough" dean snapped, moving across to Sam and punching his shoulder. "Can you hear me Sammy?!" he asked, trying his best not to yell.

"what?" asked Sam breaking out of the trance with Lucifer. "what?" Dean answered, now he was yelling "you were either ignoring me or in conversation with Lucifer, neither is good!"

"Look" Sam yelled back "yeah I'm a bit mad and not really wanting to talk to you. Lucifer's here and I don't really want to listen to him but it's a bit hard not too. Given I'm crazy but can't go back to the hospital. All you can do is follow me around and hope I don't get in your way too much. At least until the leviathans are gone, assuming I live that long! Admit it, your life would be better without me!"

Dean rubbed his face, hurt by his brother's words "well" Dean began "I need to talk to you. Charlie has been working hard since last night. She's managed to get on your records. She's got some notes for stuff from your records so hopefully, we can help you, even just a little. And she managed to find some people, selling the meds you were on. Should help you, Sam, to get rid of Lucifer again." Dean told him with a slight smile of hope on his face. Sam smiled back with real hope filling him, maybe he could be part of the fight rather than a burden in his brother's battle.

"well that's just rude," said Lucifer shrugging.

* * *

It was decided Garth would stay with Sam while Dean, Charlie, and Cas went to collect the drugs. Back up is always useful when going drug dealing and a hunter angel combo is pretty much the top level of back up, thought Charlie. And so, her and Dean stood waiting for the dealer to arrive, Cas watching cautiously from the car. There was no reason to worry, it wasn't anything Charlie hadn't done as a rebellious teen and the hunters had killed 1000's of monsters, a small drug deal was nothing on that. But the pressure was building, an apologist was coming and therefore, a fight which they may not survive which added pressure to a simple drug deal.

It took them two stops to get the combination of drugs Sam had been taking plus a stop at a book store to find some workbooks on the therapy Sam had been taking.

The first drug dealer was a young boy, probably still in school with a cap on backward and a hoodie. He clearly thought of himself highly, as a thug or gangster of some sort but to Charlie and Dean, he looked like a sad kid without any stable in life.

Both of them saw a bit of themselves, both of them wanted to intervene and get him onto the straight and narrow yet both knew it wouldn't help. The boy would have to make his own way. instead, they paid over the asking price for his nan's stolen medications and moved on. They hoped the large tip would help him onto the straight and narrow.

The second was a shitty doctor with terrible reviews. Hell, he just used his medical license to deal, mainly weed but other prescriptions too. He didn't care who took what or what they did after. He wasn't evil like a monster but he was as bad. His failure to act had led to as many deaths as any monsters Dean had taken down. Worst still, he generally didn't care for the harm he caused. Both Charlie and Dean hated to use him but they couldn't find a second option.

Sitting back in the car Dean stared forward, his hands baby's wheel. Charlie sat next to him on the passenger seat staring at the drugs in her hands. "so that's every?" asks Charlie despite knowing it was. Dean sighed under the pressure, he couldn't help but feel this was his last chance to save Sam. "almost" he smiled slightly. "what we miss" Charlie responds surprised. Dean just chuckled and began to drive.

Three blocks later, Dean pulls up outside a mini-market and smiles at the confused Charlie. "we need more beer" he smiled and climbed out "Maybe a scotch" he called back as he walked in. The two enjoyed chatting in the store together, surprised to find they had a lot in common despite their differences.

"I was thinking," said Charlie as they turned the trolley onto the drinks aisle, "yeah" Dean replied. "well, probably wait till after this whole apocalypse is over but, I found more than enough on that doctor to have him put away for a long time. Without even looking! Imagine if I put some work in then handed it to the right cops? Stop him hurting anyone else?" she suggested, "I'll be able to pull a lot together that wouldn't be by the average officer".

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DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED WITHIN THIS STORY.


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